In this lockdown, spare a thought for the domestically abused!

As a survivor of domestic violence, I know this: Being trapped with your abuser within a confined space can be the single worst thing to happen to you. The only ‘happy’...the only non-terrible moments of your life came when that person stepped out, now with that not happening for so many days together, you would prefer going out and risking death by Corona.

Before the lockdown started, I had anticipated a rise in violence of this sort and now my worst suspicions are confirmed. The Childline India Helpline received 92,105 calls in 11 days (Mar 20-31) for ‘protection against abuse and violence on children’. The numbers are 50% higher in the lockdown than usual. Let’s read that number again - Ninety Two Thousand, One Hundred and Five. In Eleven days. This massive count still does not include those who didn’t call because they were scared, those who didn’t call because they didn’t even realize what was happening is wrong and so on.

Even France set up a domestic abuse hotline in this lockdown but not for victims, for perpetrators, so that the next time they feel like offloading their anger on their family, they can maybe call this number and get counselling first and hence hit their family members less.

Not to patronize those who haven’t experienced this but trust me, issues like tiresome household chores, not being able to meet your friends, eat what you like, visit a mall and so on feel like luxuries for someone constantly hiding from an abuser within a house. Every thought you get, every emotion you feel, every action you make, every look you give, every bodily movement you make can have consequences on your mind and body. You tend to monitor and restrain yourself each moment of your life way more than everyone is monitoring probable contact with Corona right now.

I write this not for the perpetrators, they are beyond redemption. I write this for the victims: I feel you, you are not alone, hang in there. I made it out, trust me, Life can be beautiful! I also write this for you: To request you to be kinder and more accommodating to those friends and family members who you know to be victims of such circumstances. See the crankiness and anxiety you’re experiencing while at home with your moderately functional family? Imagine the plight of those who are trapped with an abuser. They will most likely be extra anxious, cranky, quiet, distant, aloof and reactive right now, they may offload some of their steam onto you and it won’t be your fault but please try and understand their predicament, please lend them an ear, please be the only ray of hope in their otherwise unbearable lives.

Please!