The violence men perpetuate…

We do two events in the space of a few days. The venues are popular colleges in Ahmedabad. We discuss social media and its impact on Youth. I ask the boys in the audience whether one of their top 5 uses of Facebook is to stalk girls' profiles. They all scream "NOOOO!". I ask girls whether any of them feel stalked or harassed, they all scream "YESSSSSS". I point to the boys and ask them to respond. They scream back "Toh photos kyu daalti ho!", "Aisi selfies kyu leti ho!", "Hum likes nahi denge toh tumhari photos ko like kaun karega"! There's a violence in their tone, a swagger!
A few days back, my friend writes about how her adult neighbour dropped his pants and started masturbating looking at her. What was she doing? She was talking on her mobile phone in the balcony of her own home.
Yesterday night, I walk out of office after a tiring day. As I get outside the building, there arent too many people! A group of boys sit by one side. They're pretty much screaming and everyone can hear them. "So-&-so (a girl's name) and so-&-so (another girl's name) were toh hot yaar!". A second guy says: "Abe par so-&-so bhi toh hot thi", "Abe jaa, woh toh kaali thi" screams a third! I walk away!
Today while scrolling through my News Feed, I see a post by some Facebook page with screenshots of Priyanka Chopra in a swimsuit from her new show 'Quantico'. Each comment below goes on the lines of "Aakhir paise ke liye yeh kar hi diya isne", "what a characterless slut" and on and on!
Today, my friend and I walk out of this building. I am way ahead, there's a fair distance between us, enough for others to not notice that we have come together. This group of three boys stands in front of us. One of them notices her and asks the other to look. They look at her with violent lust in their eyes, a giant smirk plastered on their faces, I feel mad, I go wild, walk straight up to them, stare them in the eyes and walk away brushing shoulders with them. I command myself to keep walking, for it feels like one of those rare moments when I may lose control. I walk further away. But I stop and turn back, they continue to share at her. I advance a few steps towards them! They still stare just the same! Audacity on their faces, violence in their eyes, a kinda "fuck you bastard, its our fucking right and we'll do what we want" smirk! They must barely have been 20.
We walk out, cross the road and go into this restaurant. 6-7 staff members loiter around. One of them notices my friend and comes and stands at a distance. But this restaurant itself is tiny and he's well within my force field. I turn around and stare at him. He continues to look at her. I turn around 5 more times. He never flinches! He then picks up an air freshener and walks around, now staring at her from a different angle. Then I turn around, ask him to come over, I get up, hold both his shoulders with deliberate gentleness and say to him in his ear: "Itna bhi mat ghuro ke jhagda karna pade. Andar jaake khade ho jao". Without any protests, he turns around and heads into the open kitchen. Immediately after, he turns back into our direction, takes the same posture and stares again, now from inside the kitchen! I look at him again, signal him to turn backwards, he nods back and stays as he was! I ask my friend if we can leave, we leave!
Both of us have lost our appetite by now. Still, we force ourselves to go to another restaurant, a known and trusted one this time. We enter. There are 6 people standing behind the counter, 5 in uniform, 1 without. I pull a chair for her with her back to them this time. I sit facing them, more conscious of the male species than ever before! This time, the guy not wearing a uniform stares at her back for a good 2 minutes and then heads into the kitchen.

I hold my head! Not knowing what to do! I want to burst, I want to cry, I want to kill someone! I want to kill everyone! Kis kis ko maaru, kis ko chhodu!

I ask her "Do you notice each time this happens?", she says without much expression: "Yes, every single time". Her numbness stirs me. I ask "How do you manage to remain peaceful and be happy!". She nods, tries smiling a little, shifts a bit, tries to protect me from the mood I am in then and then cautiously concedes: "I guess aadat ho gayi hai".

I feel ashamed, ashamed of my existence, ashamed of where the world is headed, ashamed of how my half of humanity makes the other half feel. I feel guilty, I feel strangely responsible, I worry whether I do the same, I feel guilty for not doing anything about this either!

I feel attracted too, so many times, but THIS...this is violence! Its audacity, arrogance! "Hota hai jo karle, hum aise hi rahenge" swag!

It must feel like a warzone, being a girl In India today, each step a battle, and then being expected to not just keep stepping out but looking great and taking care of everyone while having to do so!

The world is getting further and further rotten each day and we care less and less each rotten day!